Finding Peace

A few people have asked me what has changed in me lately. Asking because of the different focus of my blog. And I have an answer.

It's been a long time coming.

I have been distracted for quite some time now. Very distracted. I have been searching for pleasures in the world; pleasures that most would consider "good," but they have caused turmoil in my own heart. (We are all different, so what causes me strife could be quite different than what causes strife in your life.)

When the Holy Spirit first laid on my heart the desire to return home full-time with my kiddos, I cut Him off saying, "There's just no way. We can't afford it." Of course, what I was really saying is, "If I lose my salary, I will never get the things that I want." I can be a very selfish person. And the Holy Spirit can be very persistent.

Almost a year after I heard the Holy Spirit's first whisper, it was clear to me that His desires were to be greater and more important than my own. His desire for me to be home raising my children was much greater than my desire to move one step closer to my dream house. His desire for me to devote myself to Him was much greater than my desire to "get ahead" in this world.

So here I find myself on a tight budget, in our little home, and staying right where we are. And here is where I am finding unfathomable Peace. Isn't it true that spiritual blessings are often hidden in our greatest trials?

We don't have the money in our budget to eat out like we used to...and guess what?!?! I am finding it easier and easier (and even enjoyable) to involve the kiddos in cooking with me in our kitchen. Where I lacked patience before, I now ask Ella Beth and Landon to help me with preparing our meals.

I used to complain about our small house all. of. the. time. But now you know what I honestly do? If my mind starts drifting in that direction, I simply think about how many Haitians could live in our house. How many could comfortably live here and be thankful to be off of the streets of Port Au Prince and out of a tent.

I am immediately humbled. And I am thankful for the blessing of a small, but very nice and warm and safe home.



When I was working to meet my own desires, I had no peace. Sure, I had things to look forward to, but I was running in circles trying to fill a huge void with the wrong pieces. I was trying to find peace in things that have no Eternal significance - things that will perish. Silly, silly me.

So now I am simply thankful that things do not always go my way. My heart is filling up more and more each day with the Lord's sweet and amazing Peace. That is all that has changed in me. It is a simple change in my heart, but it is a great change in my life.