I am one of those people who has a difficult time readjusting to "normal life" after I return from a mission trip. But it's a different kind of adjustment this year. I guess over the last 2 years I've dealt with the feelings of guilt I normally return with that I was blessed to be born in the United States and have freedoms that many people in the world still do not have, that I am "rich" by the world's standards, and that my life is a good life.
This time I'm just having a hard time believing that my trip was real. You'd think that 11 days away would be very real - and it sure felt like an eternity while I was gone. But now that I'm home, it's just hard - it's as if it was all a dream and I can't remember the details. And I hate that. Our trip was so amazing, so full of God's presence, that I hate that I am having a hard time recalling all of the exact moments. I think I have realized that if Scott ever felt the calling to be a full time missionary I'd be on board in a nanosecond. Is that weird? Totally off the wall? Would my old life feel like just a dream if our family was called to serve full time? I don't know.
I am just praying that God will clear the fog because my heart already yearns to go back to Ngaamba. But, I know it will be a while before I return. Maybe that's why the fog has set in. Maybe I am subconsciously protecting my heart. I love the people of Ngaamba so much. They are truly amazing people - I don't pity them, because they don't need or want pity. In all honesty, they have everything that matters. James 2:5 says, "Listen, my dear brothers and sisters: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him?"
I told a couple of my team members that for the first time I have actually seen Scripture word for word evident in my life - there are the poorest of the poor living in Ngaamba, but they are rich in faith. It is just as God's word says. I have never seen faith as evident as in the lives of the precious people in Ngaamba. They tell us - Americans, white, and rich - that they will pray for us because they know He will answer. Humbled. And just in awe. Is it any wonder I long to go back?!?
So...I have thought of posting pictures...but there are just SO many to share. I took well over 700 (only because I didn't have my camera with me one day and then my battery died at the end of the week). But I narrowed them down to the best 186. :) You can view them here if you'd like.
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Thank you for all of your prayers, cards, and emails while I was gone. Scott and the kiddos were safe and healthy, and I was truly able to enjoy my time while I was away. I did miss my family, but not in a homesick way - just in a "I wish they were here to experience this with me" kind of way. But I know that without your prayers, I probably would have cried through the whole trip. So my team thanks you, and so do I. :)
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
My heart overflows
This picture will be framed in Ella Beth's room with a letter from me about how this precious girl will always have her name.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Update 7
Sasa!
I am writing to you once again from the Strand Hotel in Nairobi. We are all in the process of getting clean (or as clean as we can) before loading the plane to head home. Our time during the last three days in Ngaamba has been one that we will all treasure forever. Being able to stay there over night and fully experience life in Ngaamba has been amazing. We have an even higher respect for the people and the impact that they make on their community.
Yesterday, we were paired up as team members and we spend the day with Ngaamba families. While we all had different experiences of what we did during the day, all of us were blown away by what it takes to run a normal day in Ngaamba. The people of Ngaamba are not shy of working hard. They put their heart and soul into everything they do - from worshipping to cooking to farming to retrieving water. Our team was put to shame (again!) by Ngaamba's resilience and resourcefulness.
We can not wait to share with you once we get home our experience here. We are all looking forward to time on the plane to process all that God has changed in our hearts. There are so many things that are hard to put into words, but we want our lives to look different from before once we come home. God has truly done amazing things in us and for us while we have been away.
Thank you for your continued prayers throughout this week. Thank you for praying for our safe travels home. And, most of all, thank you for being a part of our journey.
See you soon!
Amber
I am writing to you once again from the Strand Hotel in Nairobi. We are all in the process of getting clean (or as clean as we can) before loading the plane to head home. Our time during the last three days in Ngaamba has been one that we will all treasure forever. Being able to stay there over night and fully experience life in Ngaamba has been amazing. We have an even higher respect for the people and the impact that they make on their community.
Yesterday, we were paired up as team members and we spend the day with Ngaamba families. While we all had different experiences of what we did during the day, all of us were blown away by what it takes to run a normal day in Ngaamba. The people of Ngaamba are not shy of working hard. They put their heart and soul into everything they do - from worshipping to cooking to farming to retrieving water. Our team was put to shame (again!) by Ngaamba's resilience and resourcefulness.
We can not wait to share with you once we get home our experience here. We are all looking forward to time on the plane to process all that God has changed in our hearts. There are so many things that are hard to put into words, but we want our lives to look different from before once we come home. God has truly done amazing things in us and for us while we have been away.
Thank you for your continued prayers throughout this week. Thank you for praying for our safe travels home. And, most of all, thank you for being a part of our journey.
See you soon!
Amber
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Update 6
Sasa!
Today was another great day in Ngaamba. We worked very hard along side the women and men making GREAT progress on our work site. Our team was split 50/50 today - half of us traveling back and forth up and down the hill toting satchels of rocks and the other half mixing cement and building the gabion wall. We were all able to connect with many of the same people from the community that we worked with yesterday. Our bonds are growing stronger, and true friendships have been established.
One of the things that most of the women here will tell you is, "Don't forget me when you leave. We won't forget you." We are so touched by their love for us, and we have all seen how each of us are remembered from previous trips. We assure them that they will never be forgotten. They have made such an impact upon our hearts, and we pray that our relationships with them will be evident in our lives once we return home. We choose to never forget Ngaamba and the people who make it so special.
Today marks our last day in a hotel. We will be camping for the next two nights in Ngaamba. We have been assured that lions won't attack, but your prayers won't hurt! (Prayers that bugs/spiders/snakes/etc. will also leave us alone are also appreciated!!!) We are excited to spend nights in Ngaamba and be paired up with women in the community to experience a "day in the life." Given that this is our last night in a hotel, this may or may not be the last update you will receive. There may be an opportunity on Friday to send out an update before we head home, but there may not be. Cross your fingers!
Again, thank you for your prayers. We feel them here, and we are so blessed to have you at home.
Today was another great day in Ngaamba. We worked very hard along side the women and men making GREAT progress on our work site. Our team was split 50/50 today - half of us traveling back and forth up and down the hill toting satchels of rocks and the other half mixing cement and building the gabion wall. We were all able to connect with many of the same people from the community that we worked with yesterday. Our bonds are growing stronger, and true friendships have been established.
One of the things that most of the women here will tell you is, "Don't forget me when you leave. We won't forget you." We are so touched by their love for us, and we have all seen how each of us are remembered from previous trips. We assure them that they will never be forgotten. They have made such an impact upon our hearts, and we pray that our relationships with them will be evident in our lives once we return home. We choose to never forget Ngaamba and the people who make it so special.
Today marks our last day in a hotel. We will be camping for the next two nights in Ngaamba. We have been assured that lions won't attack, but your prayers won't hurt! (Prayers that bugs/spiders/snakes/etc. will also leave us alone are also appreciated!!!) We are excited to spend nights in Ngaamba and be paired up with women in the community to experience a "day in the life." Given that this is our last night in a hotel, this may or may not be the last update you will receive. There may be an opportunity on Friday to send out an update before we head home, but there may not be. Cross your fingers!
Again, thank you for your prayers. We feel them here, and we are so blessed to have you at home.
Until the next update (hopefully!),
Amber
Monday, June 13, 2011
Update 5 - and a story
Sasa!
Today we had a great day in Ngaamba. We arrived this morning around 9 a.m. We were greeted by very excited children and the school staff. The leaders of Ngaamba North (where we were serving today) had breakfast waiting for us when we arrived. Once we finished there it was time to work!
The ladies of our team worked along side the women of Ngaamba. We walked 1/2 mile up a hill to retrieve rocks in burlap sacks to tote back down to the work site for the gabion wall. It was no easy task because we made numerous trips, but all of the ladies rocked it out! The men stayed at the work site and helped the men from Ngaamba make repairs and get ready for tomorrow where they will begin spreading cement. Our guys also rocked it out because they were in the beating sun endlessly. Both for the women and men, today was very much a day of "awesomeness" - as coined by a fellow team member. We were able to fellowship with the leaders in the community first thing in the morning, serve side by side with them during the day while building relationships, again fellowship with them after we were finished working, and we were able to play with the children once the work was done. Our day could not have been any more complete!
So many great conversations came about today that would not have happened had we not been spending time working along side the people in Ngaamba. Many times it is easy to just put your head down and work until a job is finished. But, building the relationships through working with the people here is so much more beneficial for everyone. We were able to learn about specific prayer requests that people had, learn a lot about their lives, learn about their tremendous faith in God, and we were able to share with them our hearts and our love for them.
We look forward to going to back tomorrow and doing it all over again!
Until the next update,
Amber
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That was the email I sent to everyone on the team members' list of contacts. But I wanted to write about a personal story while it is fresh in my heart.
On my last trip up the Hill (by the end of the day it definitely requires being capitalized...it was a BIG Hill)...so on my last trip up I was joined by about 8 women from Ngaamba. We were walking and talking together, and all of a sudden I hear someone calling, "Kanini, Kanini! Wait!" (Kanini is my Ngaamba name, it means "little one"). I stop and turn around and a women with a small child is running up the Hill toward me. She gets to me and takes my dirty hand in her own. She asks me if I want to hold her baby who is 8 months old, and of course I do. She then tells me that she would like for me to bless her daughter with an American name as I have been blessed with a Ngaamba name.
The only name that comes to mind is Ella Beth. I look at this woman and I look at her precious child, and I name her after my own daughter. She takes my hand, and she thanks me. She thanks me for giving her daughter my daughter's name.
I am humbled and honored all at the same moment. I am humbled that a women would ask me to give her daughter another name, and I am humbled that she would accept the name of my own precious daughter. Tears simply won't stop spilling from my eyes. And I am honored that there is a mother and a child in Ngaamba that will always know me and know my daughter's name. This mother will look at her child with her beautiful ebony skin, she will rub her cheek as all mothers do, she will look into her eyes - and she will call her "Ella Beth." There are simply no words to describe; my heart simply overflows.
I can not wait to get home to my own Ella Beth and tell her this story. And even more, I can not wait to return to Ngaamba someday with Ella Beth. Lord willing, and something tells me He won't fail, Ella Beth will meet Ella Beth. And my heart will again overflow..
Today we had a great day in Ngaamba. We arrived this morning around 9 a.m. We were greeted by very excited children and the school staff. The leaders of Ngaamba North (where we were serving today) had breakfast waiting for us when we arrived. Once we finished there it was time to work!
The ladies of our team worked along side the women of Ngaamba. We walked 1/2 mile up a hill to retrieve rocks in burlap sacks to tote back down to the work site for the gabion wall. It was no easy task because we made numerous trips, but all of the ladies rocked it out! The men stayed at the work site and helped the men from Ngaamba make repairs and get ready for tomorrow where they will begin spreading cement. Our guys also rocked it out because they were in the beating sun endlessly. Both for the women and men, today was very much a day of "awesomeness" - as coined by a fellow team member. We were able to fellowship with the leaders in the community first thing in the morning, serve side by side with them during the day while building relationships, again fellowship with them after we were finished working, and we were able to play with the children once the work was done. Our day could not have been any more complete!
So many great conversations came about today that would not have happened had we not been spending time working along side the people in Ngaamba. Many times it is easy to just put your head down and work until a job is finished. But, building the relationships through working with the people here is so much more beneficial for everyone. We were able to learn about specific prayer requests that people had, learn a lot about their lives, learn about their tremendous faith in God, and we were able to share with them our hearts and our love for them.
We look forward to going to back tomorrow and doing it all over again!
Until the next update,
Amber
---
That was the email I sent to everyone on the team members' list of contacts. But I wanted to write about a personal story while it is fresh in my heart.
On my last trip up the Hill (by the end of the day it definitely requires being capitalized...it was a BIG Hill)...so on my last trip up I was joined by about 8 women from Ngaamba. We were walking and talking together, and all of a sudden I hear someone calling, "Kanini, Kanini! Wait!" (Kanini is my Ngaamba name, it means "little one"). I stop and turn around and a women with a small child is running up the Hill toward me. She gets to me and takes my dirty hand in her own. She asks me if I want to hold her baby who is 8 months old, and of course I do. She then tells me that she would like for me to bless her daughter with an American name as I have been blessed with a Ngaamba name.
The only name that comes to mind is Ella Beth. I look at this woman and I look at her precious child, and I name her after my own daughter. She takes my hand, and she thanks me. She thanks me for giving her daughter my daughter's name.
I am humbled and honored all at the same moment. I am humbled that a women would ask me to give her daughter another name, and I am humbled that she would accept the name of my own precious daughter. Tears simply won't stop spilling from my eyes. And I am honored that there is a mother and a child in Ngaamba that will always know me and know my daughter's name. This mother will look at her child with her beautiful ebony skin, she will rub her cheek as all mothers do, she will look into her eyes - and she will call her "Ella Beth." There are simply no words to describe; my heart simply overflows.
I can not wait to get home to my own Ella Beth and tell her this story. And even more, I can not wait to return to Ngaamba someday with Ella Beth. Lord willing, and something tells me He won't fail, Ella Beth will meet Ella Beth. And my heart will again overflow..
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Update 4
Sasa! (Hello!)
We have had a very full day today. We left Nairobi at 6:45 this morning and drove for about an hour and a half to Ngaamba. What a blessing it was to be back in Ngaamba; many of us felt as if we were returning home because so much of our hearts are still there. We were welcomed by children and women - many who remembered us. I can not begin to tell you how special it was to be remembered by these precious people. Many hugs were given and many pictures were taken. Everyone here loves to have their picture taken because we are able to immediately show them on our view screens what their pictures look like. Most people in Ngaamba do not own mirrors, so they love to see what they look like. Believe me when I tell you, they are all beautiful! They have the whitest smiles and the brightest eyes. Oh we just love them!
We went to church this morning with our friends here. We worshiped, prayed, listened to the message, worshiped some more, and then ate with them. It is such an experience to visit a church in Ngaamba. Our team discussed tonight that surely the way these people worship wholeheartedly is how we will all worship our Father when we go home to Heaven. There is no embarrassment or reservation about celebrating God and His greatness!
After church and eating the lunch that was prepared for us, most of our team members were able to meet their sponsor child. All of us were completely moved, and our hearts stretched open even more. It is something to write a check each month for your sponsor child, but it is something entirely different to meet him/her face to face; to hug them and talk with them, share pictures and stories.
Many of us were asked during our time of raising support why we can't just send money to Kenya and stay at home. Meeting our sponsor children face to face today really solidified for all of us that it's more than just money. We are building a relationship with the people here in Ngaamba so that they know that they are valued by us and most importantly by their Heavenly Father. They are worth it!
I can not end this update with out telling you that it is HOT in Ngaamba. Tomorrow we will begin our project work on the gabion wall, and we will have plenty of water and sunscreen with us! Please pray for our health and safety as we work hard; we want to serve the people here and do as much as we can while we are here, but we also realize that we will have to be careful as we work.
God bless you until the next update!
Amber
We have had a very full day today. We left Nairobi at 6:45 this morning and drove for about an hour and a half to Ngaamba. What a blessing it was to be back in Ngaamba; many of us felt as if we were returning home because so much of our hearts are still there. We were welcomed by children and women - many who remembered us. I can not begin to tell you how special it was to be remembered by these precious people. Many hugs were given and many pictures were taken. Everyone here loves to have their picture taken because we are able to immediately show them on our view screens what their pictures look like. Most people in Ngaamba do not own mirrors, so they love to see what they look like. Believe me when I tell you, they are all beautiful! They have the whitest smiles and the brightest eyes. Oh we just love them!
We went to church this morning with our friends here. We worshiped, prayed, listened to the message, worshiped some more, and then ate with them. It is such an experience to visit a church in Ngaamba. Our team discussed tonight that surely the way these people worship wholeheartedly is how we will all worship our Father when we go home to Heaven. There is no embarrassment or reservation about celebrating God and His greatness!
After church and eating the lunch that was prepared for us, most of our team members were able to meet their sponsor child. All of us were completely moved, and our hearts stretched open even more. It is something to write a check each month for your sponsor child, but it is something entirely different to meet him/her face to face; to hug them and talk with them, share pictures and stories.
Many of us were asked during our time of raising support why we can't just send money to Kenya and stay at home. Meeting our sponsor children face to face today really solidified for all of us that it's more than just money. We are building a relationship with the people here in Ngaamba so that they know that they are valued by us and most importantly by their Heavenly Father. They are worth it!
I can not end this update with out telling you that it is HOT in Ngaamba. Tomorrow we will begin our project work on the gabion wall, and we will have plenty of water and sunscreen with us! Please pray for our health and safety as we work hard; we want to serve the people here and do as much as we can while we are here, but we also realize that we will have to be careful as we work.
God bless you until the next update!
Amber
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Update 3
Hello! We have spent our day in Nairobi. Most of us on the team have not spent any time in Nairobi before today, and it was a very memorable experience. We went into Kibera which is the largest slum in Africa and the second largest in the world. The conditions were indescribable by words, and I don't know if the pictures we took will do them justice once we get home. Yet despite the conditions and the extreme poverty the people in Kibera have hope.
We went to the WEEP Centre which is a home for women who are HIV positive. The women came to WEEP under the most desperate circumstances to find food, medicine, and hope. Women diagnosed with AIDS are stigmatized and cast out from their society; their husbands abandon them and they are forced to care for themselves and their children on their own. The women are treated as though it is their fault that they have contracted the disease, despite the statistics of rape - 1 out of every 4 women has been raped. In the WEEP Center, Mama Gladys gives women with AIDS and their children a safe place to rehabilitate. They are provided with food, a shelter, and the medicines that they need to survive.
There are currently 12 women and their children in the WEEP Center. They are precious people! They love God and are not ashamed to tell you so. They will even tell you how blessed they are.
Blessed. It sure gave our team pause to be around women who are seriously ill and living in deplorable conditions and who still consider themselves blessed. They all know that they are children of God, and that He cares for them and will not leave them. How true they are to consider themselves blessed.
We danced with the women and laughed until we cried! We sang with them and smiled until our cheeks hurt. And we prayed with the women. We prayed that the Lord would continue to bless them with health and the necessities needed for them and their children to survive. We prayed that God will continue to use the WEEP Centre as a place of rehabilitation for women in Kibera who have no other option. We asked for blessings upon Mama Gladys - what a remarkable women who has allowed her heart to be so stretched by God that she devotes herself day and night to the women who need her. And we prayed that we would never forget our experience today with these WEEP women; that our hearts would break for what breaks God's heart.
They were all so welcoming and excited to have visitors. They told us that "If our community sees white people choosing to come visit us, then that has a huge impact on how others in Kibera see us." We do hope that God will open the hearts and minds of those who stigmatize these women. They are surely missing out if they don't.
Tomorrow we head to Ngaamba. Our hearts may surely burst by the end of this week.
Until the next update,
Amber
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