God has really been laying on my heart lately how easily I fall into the trap of being discontent. So I am going to concentrate 2011 on the art of being content.
Phillipians 4:11-12 says, "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."
I believe the key word in these verses is "learned." In our society (and apparently in societies many years ago) there is always the pull to want something different than what we have.
I found these quotes by Kent Crockett on contentment:
* The grass is always greenest in the center of God’s will.
*A nicer golf course won't make you a better golfer. A nicer environment won't make you a better person.
*Has it ever occurred to you that the things you now have were once things you were trying to get?
* Contentment in life is not found in a perfect set of circumstances but by choosing to be happy in every situation.
The last quote is my favorite - being content is a choice. And it is my choice to make 2011 a year of purposefully learning contentment.
A website that I have recently fallen in love with is http://www.aholyexperience.com/. Ann Voskamp is such a beautiful writer, and I have told more than one person that her site has changed my life. ;) One thing I am doing to intentionally learn to be content this year is by following the 100 Day Calendar found here. More and more I want to have a grateful heart, for truly God has blessed me with so much. I am choosing to develop 3 new habits over the next 100 days.
It's hard to be discontent when you count your blessings.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Day 3
Today marks Day 3 of homeschooling in the Castleberry household. Things are going very well. Aside from cursive handwriting, ahem. Ella Beth just soaks up everything that we go over, and I am finding that the Kindergarten curriculum is just a review for Ella Beth despite the fact that she is just 4 years old. We are doing 3-5 lessons a day in about 45 minutes. But that is just fine for now. I am using this "review" as a time for Ella Beth and me to adjust to homeschooling. It's a pretty big adjustment.
Ella Beth has been in Montessori school for the last two years, and has truly thrived in the Montessori enviornment. Or, let me be clear - she has thrived educationally in the Montessori classroom. Socially, that's a different story all together. Which answers the question I have been asked so frequently lately:
Why are you choosing to homeschool?
There is not one simple answer to this question. Rather, a myriad of issuse led to my decision. The Montessori approach to teaching is truly phenomenal, and if you have not done any research into Montessori education, I highly recommend it! I am going to be supplementing the curriculum that we are using as much as possible with Montessori activities and manipulatives.
However, as good as the Montessori approach is (and I truly believe it is), there are also many things that counter the values that we, well, value in our home. More times than I can count, Ella Beth has come home with stories that just shock me. Ella Beth is just 4, but when she was 3 the stories started: "__________ called me stupid and said my shirt was ugly." "________ says that I'm not her friend any more and she's not going to invite me to her birthday party." "_________" says that there are vampires in her back yard who come to drink blood at night."
Wow. At four years old, Ella Beth has heard words that we have never spoken in our house, and has repeated those words; she has been exposed to vampires; she has been bullied; she has been treated unkind and has learned how to treat others unkindly. Her school is great, and her teachers were just wonderful. But when it came down to Ella Beth's heart, it was not being developed the way that our family desires.
So, I have chosen to shelter my children. Bring on all criticism because I can defend my decision. :) I am choosing eternal importance above temperal.
Ella Beth has been in Montessori school for the last two years, and has truly thrived in the Montessori enviornment. Or, let me be clear - she has thrived educationally in the Montessori classroom. Socially, that's a different story all together. Which answers the question I have been asked so frequently lately:
Why are you choosing to homeschool?
There is not one simple answer to this question. Rather, a myriad of issuse led to my decision. The Montessori approach to teaching is truly phenomenal, and if you have not done any research into Montessori education, I highly recommend it! I am going to be supplementing the curriculum that we are using as much as possible with Montessori activities and manipulatives.
However, as good as the Montessori approach is (and I truly believe it is), there are also many things that counter the values that we, well, value in our home. More times than I can count, Ella Beth has come home with stories that just shock me. Ella Beth is just 4, but when she was 3 the stories started: "__________ called me stupid and said my shirt was ugly." "________ says that I'm not her friend any more and she's not going to invite me to her birthday party." "_________" says that there are vampires in her back yard who come to drink blood at night."
Wow. At four years old, Ella Beth has heard words that we have never spoken in our house, and has repeated those words; she has been exposed to vampires; she has been bullied; she has been treated unkind and has learned how to treat others unkindly. Her school is great, and her teachers were just wonderful. But when it came down to Ella Beth's heart, it was not being developed the way that our family desires.
So, I have chosen to shelter my children. Bring on all criticism because I can defend my decision. :) I am choosing eternal importance above temperal.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
How about some honesty?
I'll be honest and say that I am not always the most honest person. Now, don't go thinking I'm a liar and a cheat...because I am neither of those things. But I am an "inward" person. I keep a lot of stuff hidden - which by definition makes me a somewhat dishonest person.
For as long as I can remember, I have subconsciously believed that women aren't supposed to be opinionated; they are supposed to keep their thoughts to themselves - especially if those thoughts are anything close to "controversial." Opinionated people are obnoxious. People don't like to be around others unless they are happy and upbeat and encouraging. All of the time.
So, that's what I (typically) do. No matter what's going on inside of me, I put on the upbeat face believing that no one really wants to know what's going on underneath the surface.
Occasionally, I will post something deeper on my blog. I am almost always confused by the responses I get. Most people do not comment on my deeper posts, but I see that they visit. If someone does comment, it's usually by way of an email or phone call asking the same question, "Are you OK?" Not the, "Hey, is everything alright?" No, I'm talking about the, "Um, Amber, are YOU OK? Has a screw come loose?"
So then I go back to just posting pretty pictures of my kiddos and family. All smiling. :)
Then, I get a letter from a friend of mine. A real letter. In the mail. To me.
This friend addressed something with me and my personality that I have always known about myself. She told me that she thought I was a very spiritually mature person, but that my "standoff-ish personality made it difficult for others to get to know me and have a deep friendship with me and benefit from my spiritual maturity."
Now that's some brutal honesty there, folks. And I appreciated it. (Well, I appreciated it after some honest prayer time with God and some honest conversation with my hubby.)
But here is my delimma: I don't think everyone appreciates honesty. I honestly don't.
I think most people like to pretend their way through life. So, that's what I have done for as long as I can remember. Yes, my life is wonderful, but there are areas in which I struggle. And when I say that I struggle, I mean that I am fully submerged in a knock-down-drag-out-fight. But, most people never know. Because I don't think people always want to know.
But, maybe I'm wrong?
Well, 2011 is going to be a year of honesty for me. With others and with myself. My hope is that this honesty will come through to others as an invitation to truly know me. To know that I cry easily, though most people haven't seen me cry. To know that I struggle with relating to God as a Father because I really never had a great earthly example of one. To know that I struggle with insecurity to the point that I am an OCD perfectionist at everything. To know that when I love, I love deeply and with my whole heart. And to know that it's hard for me to love with my whole heart because I'm scared that it will be wounded.
Do you really want to know those things?
I haven't meant to be standoff-ish to anyone, and I apologize if you, too, have felt that way. I hope that I am able to be truly honest and "real" from now on. Hey, it can go one of two ways - I can either lose all of the friends that I have, or I can make new friends and have truer relationships. I'm praying for the latter...but if my posts are all smiles and pretty pictures, you'll know which way it went. ;)
For as long as I can remember, I have subconsciously believed that women aren't supposed to be opinionated; they are supposed to keep their thoughts to themselves - especially if those thoughts are anything close to "controversial." Opinionated people are obnoxious. People don't like to be around others unless they are happy and upbeat and encouraging. All of the time.
So, that's what I (typically) do. No matter what's going on inside of me, I put on the upbeat face believing that no one really wants to know what's going on underneath the surface.
Occasionally, I will post something deeper on my blog. I am almost always confused by the responses I get. Most people do not comment on my deeper posts, but I see that they visit. If someone does comment, it's usually by way of an email or phone call asking the same question, "Are you OK?" Not the, "Hey, is everything alright?" No, I'm talking about the, "Um, Amber, are YOU OK? Has a screw come loose?"
So then I go back to just posting pretty pictures of my kiddos and family. All smiling. :)
Then, I get a letter from a friend of mine. A real letter. In the mail. To me.
This friend addressed something with me and my personality that I have always known about myself. She told me that she thought I was a very spiritually mature person, but that my "standoff-ish personality made it difficult for others to get to know me and have a deep friendship with me and benefit from my spiritual maturity."
Now that's some brutal honesty there, folks. And I appreciated it. (Well, I appreciated it after some honest prayer time with God and some honest conversation with my hubby.)
But here is my delimma: I don't think everyone appreciates honesty. I honestly don't.
I think most people like to pretend their way through life. So, that's what I have done for as long as I can remember. Yes, my life is wonderful, but there are areas in which I struggle. And when I say that I struggle, I mean that I am fully submerged in a knock-down-drag-out-fight. But, most people never know. Because I don't think people always want to know.
But, maybe I'm wrong?
Well, 2011 is going to be a year of honesty for me. With others and with myself. My hope is that this honesty will come through to others as an invitation to truly know me. To know that I cry easily, though most people haven't seen me cry. To know that I struggle with relating to God as a Father because I really never had a great earthly example of one. To know that I struggle with insecurity to the point that I am an OCD perfectionist at everything. To know that when I love, I love deeply and with my whole heart. And to know that it's hard for me to love with my whole heart because I'm scared that it will be wounded.
Do you really want to know those things?
I haven't meant to be standoff-ish to anyone, and I apologize if you, too, have felt that way. I hope that I am able to be truly honest and "real" from now on. Hey, it can go one of two ways - I can either lose all of the friends that I have, or I can make new friends and have truer relationships. I'm praying for the latter...but if my posts are all smiles and pretty pictures, you'll know which way it went. ;)
Thursday, September 30, 2010
The Enemy of the Best is the Good
Over the past few months (let's say 11 ;)), I've really been having a hard time figuring out what I want from life. It's been easy to look into the future and say, "in 10 years I want to be in a big house with a new mini-van in the garage and a big savings account at the bank." But looking at the right now? That's been tricky.
I've always had the mindset that the "right now" determines the future. And, while that can be the case, sometimes I have to dig a little deeper. The "right now" that I'm craving could be what leads to where I *think* I want to be in 10 years, but not necessarily.
You see, more than the materialism of what my dreams have always held for the future is God's calling in my life. And right now, it's going in the complete.opposite.direction. of where I thought it would.
Scott and I have made the (tough) decision for me to stay home. On his income. And no included benefits.
Less money = greater dreams??? For us, yes.
I'm not going to dream of that bigger and better house so that I can be content with the house that I have.
I'm not going to give all of my energy to my job so that I can give it to my husband and kiddos.
I'm not going to spend money on just anything so I can budget and save for what's important.
I'm not going to look to culture to sell me on my desires so that I can study God's word and find what His true desires are for me.
I'm not going to settle for what's good so that I can live my life for what's best.
It's not going to be easy, but it's going to be worth it.
I've always had the mindset that the "right now" determines the future. And, while that can be the case, sometimes I have to dig a little deeper. The "right now" that I'm craving could be what leads to where I *think* I want to be in 10 years, but not necessarily.
You see, more than the materialism of what my dreams have always held for the future is God's calling in my life. And right now, it's going in the complete.opposite.direction. of where I thought it would.
Scott and I have made the (tough) decision for me to stay home. On his income. And no included benefits.
Less money = greater dreams??? For us, yes.
I'm not going to dream of that bigger and better house so that I can be content with the house that I have.
I'm not going to give all of my energy to my job so that I can give it to my husband and kiddos.
I'm not going to spend money on just anything so I can budget and save for what's important.
I'm not going to look to culture to sell me on my desires so that I can study God's word and find what His true desires are for me.
I'm not going to settle for what's good so that I can live my life for what's best.
It's not going to be easy, but it's going to be worth it.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Why Was I in Haiti?
People keep asking me, "So, how was Haiti?"
It was amazing. As a team member put it, my time in Haiti was life-bending. I won't say life-changing because my life hasn't changed much at all since I've been home - still working part time, still a mama and wife full time. However, my view of life has changed. When I look around, what I see "bends" and everything looks different with my new perspective.
The devastation and living conditions in Haiti are beyond explanation; pictures don't - can't - do it justice. The living conditions are deplorable. The closest I can come to explain the conditions are to tell you that Slumdog Millionaire had them right. (BTW, if you haven't seen that movie, I highly recommend it.)
Despite the devastation of the earthquake and the already indescribable abject poverty, the people of Haiti are hopeful people. And when you ask them what gives them hope their answer is always, "Jesus." Can I tell you what those precious people did to my small faith??? They GREW my faith in a BIG way. Isn't Jesus our ONLY hope? Truly He is.
I spent most of my time working in an infant and toddler orphanage called The Creche. It was the most difficult time of my trip. There were 18 infants in one room, about the size of a "normal" bedroom here in America. 14 Cribs were stacked two-high, and the other 4 babies (around 11-13 months) slept on two pack-n-play mattresses pushed together on the floor. The older toddlers slept in the same size cribs one room away. There were 32 children ages 14 months-8 years old. The oldest children slept two to a bed, many times with a younger sibling. The smells inside The Creche were nauseating. The sounds of so many babies and toddlers crying were deafening and heartbreaking. There were usually only two women in the infant room. Two women and 18 babies. Sometimes there was only one. Our team did the best we could, usually with two babies in our arms, to soothe them. Those precious women are somewhat numb to the cries of the infants, but I suppose they have to be...in order to get everything that needs to be done, done. They must wash all of the babies, apply lotion b/c the temperature is so h.o.t., change the sheets, change diapers, feed the babies, clean the nursery, change more diapers, feed more babies, and it goes on and on. I admire what they do, and pray for just a fraction of their patience, because four days wore me slap out. And broke my heart to where it will never be the same.
I guess I was so touched by my time in the orphanage because I am a mom. I can tell you that I desperately wanted to take home Judeson with me, and I would have gladly opened my arms to a couple more. Which is where the answer to the question, "So what was the number one thing that happened to you while you were in Haiti?" comes in...It was Wednesday, the last workday in Haiti, before we were headed out to the airport early Thursday morning. I had been working in the Creche all day, and our group decided that we would call it a day at 3 p.m. We were all tired, and I was covered in poop, urine, spit-up, food, you name it. The guys and the rest of the ladies from the other worksites had not returned yet, so I was in my room alone. I started packing things in to my bag, and then I sat down to journal. Now, Haiti is far from running on electricity like we do here in the States. There was a Very. Loud. Generator. outside of our room that ran almost all day long. As I was sitting on my bed, I could hear babies crying over the generator. It made me pause and think, "Awww, that just breaks my heart." But that's about it. Then I heard God ask me, "Amber, why are you here?" I stopped journaling for just a moment and thought to myself, "Well, I have some time to kill so I just wanted to write about my day." So I continued on. About a minute later, I heard God almost audibly ask me again, "Amber, why are you here?" I stopped. I thought, well, I've been packing to prepare to go home tomorrow (because that is what Amber does) and now I'm journaling about my day so that I won't forget anything. And one more time God asked, "But why are you HERE?" I broke down. I literally ran down to the Creche.
When I first stepped in the door of the Creche I was nervous and overwhelmed. Despite the fact that I had been there all week, this was my first time alone with all of those precious and very needy children. With tears streaming down my face (oh, it happened all the time to me while I was at the Creche. The women working there were used to it.:) I scooped up two infants in my arms, I had two toddlers on my lap, and 5 older children sitting around me. And I sang "Jesus Loves Me" to them for well over an hour. That's all I did. Through tears, because let me just tell you that they never stopped flowing after that, I sang and sang and sang. I changed the words about half-way through, and I sang "Jesus Loves You." I touched the children over and over again when I sang the word "You." The older children began singing with me and would touch themselves, too. More than anything in this world, I simply wanted them to know that Jesus. Loves. Them.
And THAT was why I was in Haiti. That was why God called me there.
It is that specific moment that I have been processing over and over again since I've been home. Yes, it's difficult to re-adjust to life after being in a third world country (even more so after a disaster), but processing my time with those beautiful children has been so hard. What is it that God is calling me to do? I am prayerfully waiting for His answer, and I can honestly tell you that I am up for anything. For the first time in my life I feel totally surrendered. It's not easy being a "planner" and not know what's coming, but there is peace in my waiting.
Thanks for letting me share about my time in Haiti. I promise to have more "life" back soon. :)
It was amazing. As a team member put it, my time in Haiti was life-bending. I won't say life-changing because my life hasn't changed much at all since I've been home - still working part time, still a mama and wife full time. However, my view of life has changed. When I look around, what I see "bends" and everything looks different with my new perspective.
The devastation and living conditions in Haiti are beyond explanation; pictures don't - can't - do it justice. The living conditions are deplorable. The closest I can come to explain the conditions are to tell you that Slumdog Millionaire had them right. (BTW, if you haven't seen that movie, I highly recommend it.)
Despite the devastation of the earthquake and the already indescribable abject poverty, the people of Haiti are hopeful people. And when you ask them what gives them hope their answer is always, "Jesus." Can I tell you what those precious people did to my small faith??? They GREW my faith in a BIG way. Isn't Jesus our ONLY hope? Truly He is.
I spent most of my time working in an infant and toddler orphanage called The Creche. It was the most difficult time of my trip. There were 18 infants in one room, about the size of a "normal" bedroom here in America. 14 Cribs were stacked two-high, and the other 4 babies (around 11-13 months) slept on two pack-n-play mattresses pushed together on the floor. The older toddlers slept in the same size cribs one room away. There were 32 children ages 14 months-8 years old. The oldest children slept two to a bed, many times with a younger sibling. The smells inside The Creche were nauseating. The sounds of so many babies and toddlers crying were deafening and heartbreaking. There were usually only two women in the infant room. Two women and 18 babies. Sometimes there was only one. Our team did the best we could, usually with two babies in our arms, to soothe them. Those precious women are somewhat numb to the cries of the infants, but I suppose they have to be...in order to get everything that needs to be done, done. They must wash all of the babies, apply lotion b/c the temperature is so h.o.t., change the sheets, change diapers, feed the babies, clean the nursery, change more diapers, feed more babies, and it goes on and on. I admire what they do, and pray for just a fraction of their patience, because four days wore me slap out. And broke my heart to where it will never be the same.
I guess I was so touched by my time in the orphanage because I am a mom. I can tell you that I desperately wanted to take home Judeson with me, and I would have gladly opened my arms to a couple more. Which is where the answer to the question, "So what was the number one thing that happened to you while you were in Haiti?" comes in...It was Wednesday, the last workday in Haiti, before we were headed out to the airport early Thursday morning. I had been working in the Creche all day, and our group decided that we would call it a day at 3 p.m. We were all tired, and I was covered in poop, urine, spit-up, food, you name it. The guys and the rest of the ladies from the other worksites had not returned yet, so I was in my room alone. I started packing things in to my bag, and then I sat down to journal. Now, Haiti is far from running on electricity like we do here in the States. There was a Very. Loud. Generator. outside of our room that ran almost all day long. As I was sitting on my bed, I could hear babies crying over the generator. It made me pause and think, "Awww, that just breaks my heart." But that's about it. Then I heard God ask me, "Amber, why are you here?" I stopped journaling for just a moment and thought to myself, "Well, I have some time to kill so I just wanted to write about my day." So I continued on. About a minute later, I heard God almost audibly ask me again, "Amber, why are you here?" I stopped. I thought, well, I've been packing to prepare to go home tomorrow (because that is what Amber does) and now I'm journaling about my day so that I won't forget anything. And one more time God asked, "But why are you HERE?" I broke down. I literally ran down to the Creche.
When I first stepped in the door of the Creche I was nervous and overwhelmed. Despite the fact that I had been there all week, this was my first time alone with all of those precious and very needy children. With tears streaming down my face (oh, it happened all the time to me while I was at the Creche. The women working there were used to it.:) I scooped up two infants in my arms, I had two toddlers on my lap, and 5 older children sitting around me. And I sang "Jesus Loves Me" to them for well over an hour. That's all I did. Through tears, because let me just tell you that they never stopped flowing after that, I sang and sang and sang. I changed the words about half-way through, and I sang "Jesus Loves You." I touched the children over and over again when I sang the word "You." The older children began singing with me and would touch themselves, too. More than anything in this world, I simply wanted them to know that Jesus. Loves. Them.
And THAT was why I was in Haiti. That was why God called me there.
It is that specific moment that I have been processing over and over again since I've been home. Yes, it's difficult to re-adjust to life after being in a third world country (even more so after a disaster), but processing my time with those beautiful children has been so hard. What is it that God is calling me to do? I am prayerfully waiting for His answer, and I can honestly tell you that I am up for anything. For the first time in my life I feel totally surrendered. It's not easy being a "planner" and not know what's coming, but there is peace in my waiting.
Thanks for letting me share about my time in Haiti. I promise to have more "life" back soon. :)
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Haiti
Our view as we arrived to Haiti. It was a wonderful start to our journey.
Tent cities were set up everywhere in Port Au Prince. From the plane you could see them for hundreds of square miles.
None of us were prepared for the devastation that we encountered.
But God gives everyone, everywhere, beauty to behold. This is the view from where we stayed - Bethel Guest House.
Meet Judeson. We fell in love with this beautiful and precious little boy. 9 months old.
Doesn't he look like he belongs with us?! If he wasn't already adopted and on the waiting list to go home, he would be a Castleberry. My heart still longs for Judeson.
The people in Haiti must go on. They are strong and resourceful, but they still need your prayers.
Friday and Saturday have been a blur, maybe because every time I try to talk about my time in Haiti, I have been a blubbering mess. Everywhere I look I see Haiti, and cant get it out of my head. I am having a difficult time adjusting to being home - back to life in the "real world." Everywhere I look I see the gaudy-ness of selfish lives. I see people living as though nothing matters. It's hard.
Don't really know where to go next. I still need time decompress and find a way to stay in this state of mind. I don't want to go back to living on my terms, but living in a way that is totally reliant on HIS terms.
What we experienced was truly something special, and don't know if it can be fully explained. What God did in our midst was truly awesome. What He allowed me to see and experience was not by accident, and I need to continue to search what that purpose is. I hope there are many more experiences in Haiti for me.
I think this is applicable all of us and our friends in Haiti:"'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,' declares the Lord, 'and will bring you back from captivity.'"
Jeremiah 29:11-13
Monday, June 14, 2010
Processing my thoughts
I can't believe that we leave for Haiti in just 4 short days. I am definitely feeling prepared "stuff" wise with packing and getting things ready. That's the easy stuff.
However, I have to be honest that I'm starting to feel the anxiety of leading 31 other people through a third-world country that is full of devastation and disease. The water is bad. People from previous trips have come home very ill - no amount of antibiotics have helped them and they are being tested for parasites today.
I have also been very sick this last week. I'm starting to feel a little better (maybe...I think I'm just trying to convince myself). I'm going to the doctor this afternoon to get some medicine because I'm really nervous about going into Haiti already sick.
And, no surprise here, one of my kiddos is not feeling well. This time it's Landon. Yesterday, he slept until 10:30 a.m. Landon - who usually wakes up at 6:40 a.m. Every. Single. Morning. I checked on him every 10 minutes because I was getting so worried about him. Then, he fell asleep in Scott's arms in the living room at 1:30 p.m. and slept for 2 1/2 hours. Sheesh. He woke up with a fever, so I know his little body is fighting something.
But...I just have to call it what it is. Spiritual Warfare. Satan is relentless when we are about to do something BIG for our God. It's tough. It makes me want to scream - especially when he starts attacking my family. But, I am just trusting that God is up to BIG things.
---
OK, all of that is out of the way. So, Haiti is coming in 4 days. I'm excited, but also realistic about what we are going to do. It's going to be about 110 degrees. HOT. The guys on our team are building homes for widows who lost everything, including their husbands, in the earthquake. The ladies on our team will be split between an orphanage and working with women making bags to sell. I'm excited to develop relationships with the Hatitian women. There will be a language barrier, but I'm trying to pull out my French from high school and refresh. Ha!
Our team of 32 seems great. Lots of young girls who are energetic, which should be fun. Everyone seems sincere and really set on our goals as a team. I feel good in our preparations, and trying to not freak about getting 32 people through 3 different airports. Hopefully our matching team shirts will help with that. ;)
So...that's mostly my stream of consciousness today regarding Haiti. Trusting God with the rest!
However, I have to be honest that I'm starting to feel the anxiety of leading 31 other people through a third-world country that is full of devastation and disease. The water is bad. People from previous trips have come home very ill - no amount of antibiotics have helped them and they are being tested for parasites today.
I have also been very sick this last week. I'm starting to feel a little better (maybe...I think I'm just trying to convince myself). I'm going to the doctor this afternoon to get some medicine because I'm really nervous about going into Haiti already sick.
And, no surprise here, one of my kiddos is not feeling well. This time it's Landon. Yesterday, he slept until 10:30 a.m. Landon - who usually wakes up at 6:40 a.m. Every. Single. Morning. I checked on him every 10 minutes because I was getting so worried about him. Then, he fell asleep in Scott's arms in the living room at 1:30 p.m. and slept for 2 1/2 hours. Sheesh. He woke up with a fever, so I know his little body is fighting something.
But...I just have to call it what it is. Spiritual Warfare. Satan is relentless when we are about to do something BIG for our God. It's tough. It makes me want to scream - especially when he starts attacking my family. But, I am just trusting that God is up to BIG things.
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OK, all of that is out of the way. So, Haiti is coming in 4 days. I'm excited, but also realistic about what we are going to do. It's going to be about 110 degrees. HOT. The guys on our team are building homes for widows who lost everything, including their husbands, in the earthquake. The ladies on our team will be split between an orphanage and working with women making bags to sell. I'm excited to develop relationships with the Hatitian women. There will be a language barrier, but I'm trying to pull out my French from high school and refresh. Ha!
Our team of 32 seems great. Lots of young girls who are energetic, which should be fun. Everyone seems sincere and really set on our goals as a team. I feel good in our preparations, and trying to not freak about getting 32 people through 3 different airports. Hopefully our matching team shirts will help with that. ;)
So...that's mostly my stream of consciousness today regarding Haiti. Trusting God with the rest!
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